An Open Letter from MonkeyNaut

We've been gone for a while.  In the words of the rock group Chicago,
"Everybody needs a little time away."  So sue us, we had things to do, bills to pay. 
It's not like you really cared anyway.  All we ever got was your "Hey! Where's my t-shirt?" emails. 
Didn't occur to you to think that maybe we had some stuff going on, did it?  Selfish!!!!

Anyway, we were meant to just be gone a little while.  Um, I guess time flew. 
Oh well, no apologies.  Once again quoting (paraphrasing) the rock group Chicago,
"It's hard for us to say we're sorry." 
Um, well hopefully we'll have something to say for a bit.
Thanks.
New This Week

PLUS:  MONKEYNAUT SWAG DOESN'T CAUSE CANCER!
(Tests not back on Genital Warts)

Save the Orangutans!
Spacemonkey Space Monkey burning bright
The Space Monkey's Prayer


Today, I am cool collected and brave.
I am prepared for whatever I may face.
Today, I'm a monkey, saved from the wild,
educated well... then shot into space.
Hello. This is where you click to read MonkeyNaut, the comic strip.  We update it weekly, I think. Anyway, we normally run it in print for an alternative newspaper. If you are a reader and notice we are new online but missing in the paper, that means we are being censored. It happens for various reasons. We've offended people before.  It's usually not anything too bad. Sometimes, right-wing political types or very religious people get all up in a lather.  If you're not down with the censorship thing and would like to show your support, please e-mail us and we'll tell you who to complain to. Otherwise, click here to read. Thanks much for your time. xoxoxoxo-- signed We at MonkeyNaut
Movie Reviews you can use.   Maybe you can read these and go, "Whew! I really dodged a bullet by not seeing that one."  I dunno. Even though I'm not Big Time, I'm honest.  Who knows? Maybe if a studio gave me some cash, I'd sell out and write things like "Ashton Kutcher gives an Oscar Caliber performance in Butterfly Effect..."  I'm open to bribery. 
This is my journal.  It's a vanity press really.  I mean, maybe I'm inciteful but If your looking for "THE ANSWERS," you're not going to find them there.  If you're lucky, maybe you'll get some nice tips on picking the ticks off the one you love.  Grooming is important. Particularly to Space Monkeys. 
Yes. Yes.
News you would never actually look for. Geeks with Lightsabers, Pimps Slapping Ho's, Star Trek Stuff,  News of the Weird, Punk Rock Cats and what not.  Here's some links I've found that I like a lot.  Good Stuff.  I could be wrong. I am only a monkey.
If you've got money. This is the place for you. Everything is designer.  Usually cheap too.  Act fast though, elsewise I'll run out of stuff and you'll wind up emailing me once a week wondering when I'll have t-shirts again.  It happens.  It really does.
THERE IS SWAG AVAILABLE NOW!
You don't really want to know.
I tell you what's in the stars for you. Really, I can do that.  It's not so much a gift as it is a skill.  I took this course at the Learning Annex. It was pretty cool. You can learn everything there.  Well, almost anything.  They don't teach you how to read chicken bones because that's not an exact science.
Email me if you have a question or concern or if you want to talk bad about somebody but are afraid to tell someone you really know.  I've got your back. We space monkeys are like that.
Copyright 2004 MonkeyNaut All Rights Reserved